Always the heretic

I really wish my parents would realize that their continual nagging of me to believe the way they do about religion just makes me really uncomfortable. That ship has sailed long, long ago. I know they feel they have to try to "save" me from burning in hell, but frankly it is extremely tiring to try to fake interest in the religious tracts and books they keep sending me. It's a waste of their time and money.

I can't even explain to them that I feel more at peace now than I ever did growing up in their church...for god's sake, all we ever heard about then was how we were all sinners and going to burn in hell. I had nightmares my entire childhood about it. It took me YEARS to get over them.

The logic of it makes no sense...my mother made a statement to me about how "we are all sinners" after I spent half an hour talking about some evil shit that has been going down around here. I'm sorry, I refuse to cover myself in the same mantle as the people who have been backstabbing and treating others like complete dog shit. I am not an innately evil person as some of these people are, and I won't equate myself to them. I'll never understand the masochistic tendencies of that religion...it's just a ploy to make everyone feel like crap about themselves so they can be controlled. There's a reason the church basically told me they never wanted me back...I was too smart to fall for their line of doohickey. It always seemed rather like a game to me...'this is the only way we can keep them in line'.

If not being able to see myself as evil as those other MF's is being a heretic, so be it.